I had mentioned that yesterday was our anniversary, but I didn’t say a lot about it. I was focused on beans! Today I think I’ll focus on Ralph.
Is he the perfect man? In many ways yes, in some ways, no. Of course, he didn’t win any prize, either, when he got me. But somehow we fit.
We met by accident, introduced at a meeting we were both attending. It was a meeting of a poetry group I belonged to and we was invited by the woman who was hosting the meeting that month. We spent the entire evening as far from each other as possible, Ralph on one side of the room, Me on the other. It just happened that way. We finally got to chat after the meeting when everyone was having coffee and snacks. That was it.
Along with several other members of the group, I was known as one of the cut-ups. We would joke and have fun during the meetings, not like so many of the “serious” poets. I got a call from one of my cut-up buddies, Walt saying he wanted to get together with the idea of writing comedy. I thought it was a great idea. He had invited a few others, “oh and I asked that guy Ralph who we met at the meeting the other night.” Again, I thought it was great.
Now comes the tricky part…I was dating someone else, Ralph was dating someone else. Along with the guy I was dating at the time, we would regularly go to a local diner. As it happens, Ralph as a police detective usually working the 4 to 12 shift, he would also go to this diner on his dinner break. First time I saw him, I said Hi and we invited him to sit with us. This started to happen on a regular basis. The guy I was dating would sit there reading the newspaper (and staring at the waitresses) while Ralph and I laughed and joked and sang the theme songs to old TV Westerns. Who was having fun?
Eventually, Ralph decided to have a surprise birthday party for the friend who had hosted that poetry meeting and asked for my help. I said sure and he asked me to meet him at a nearby diner (not the same one) to talk and make plans. As it turns out, we never talked about the party that night, just everything else in the world. So, gee whiz…we had to meet again to actually plan the party!
There was a bit more back and forth with our friend (who still didn’t know about the party) asking me how much I liked the guy I was dating and what I thought of Ralph. I said I was having some trouble and that I thought Ralph was a great guy. She said that Ralph liked me. I said I liked him too. She said NO he Really likes you (are we in high school? but this is true) I said, well I think I really like him too.
I won’t drag this out any more. By mid July of that year we had “declared” ourselves. He had just broken up with his on-off girlfriend and I had the messy prospect of breaking up with the guy I was dating-the only time I ever had to do that and it was difficult. However, I did it and I’m very glad I did.
We had the wedding ceremony in Mom’s dining room and photos in the back yard taken by a good friend who is a professional photographer. Do you think we were happy? You decide…
Then 12 years later, I awake to find this on the kitchen counter…
I think I’m pretty darn lucky!
Happy Tuesday! Happy Day after Anniversary! Happy October!